Shootin’ Up by Bloomingdales, NYC

My company is looking for a plastic surgeon to write a book; we checked out an article in the NY Times today in the search for authors. It was about a new storefront Botox clinic opening near Bloomingdale’s in Manhattan.

How’s this for a quote from one of the founders:

“Botox is the female yuppie heroin,” Dr. Rose said. “It’s like electricity: If you want to keep in on, you have to keep paying.”

Hmm. So how’s this work? You tell us we’re ugly unless we shoot botulism poison into our heads – and by the way, you’re the only one who can sell us the poison. And we have to keep going back.

NICE one, Dr. Rose. Comparing your female patients to heroin addicts makes you, what, a drug dealer? Glad you’re proud of that.

What pissed me off? I mean, we’re ugly and deficient if we don’t wear mascara. Somehow injecting poison into the head, where the brain, senses, and expression organs are, is a little different from putting wax on our lashes.

And I gotta wonder about the blatant sexism of the male doctor/female addict drama, too. Would a male orthopedist who fixes middle-aged men’s knees and hips so they can continue to play sports – would that doctor compare his patients to addicts? “Well, the prosthetic hip is like heroin. It’ll wear out; and they’ll have to come back for a new one to keep playing. Prosthetic joints are the male yuppie heroin.” I don’t think so.

Years ago I went to a Botox party at a rich friend’s apt. Quite exclusive at the time: A chi-chi plastic surgeon would offer everyone free info about Botox and a free shot. It was in a gorgeous penthouse apt. But gotta be suspicious when the first taste of anything is free. Get your first shot in a penthouse; wind up getting shot up in a storefront. My god, Dr. Rose is right!

The quest for eternal youth has made people buy snake oil for a long, long, time. Helena Rubenstein referred to her face cream as “hope in a jar” way back in the 1930s. What’s wrong w/hope in a syringe? And Botox ain’t snake oil; it does freeze the face. Who doesn’t hope to escape suffering, old age, and death?

But few have expressed the flavor of the modern chase so well as Dr. Rose. I’m actually grateful to him for his clarity.

But somehow, this just set me off. Ya know, I’m NOT gonna shoot poison into my head to look however you define “okay”. I’m just not. And good luck and all my compassion to those who do.


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